Chris' Corner: Trust is the currency of Relationships

Trust is the currency of Relationships

Trust is the currency of relationships, and there are two sides to every coin.

We are born into this world totally dependent and trusting in our parents / caregivers completely.  We just KNOW that they will take care of us, and that they want the best for us.  By the same token, I feel we are each born totally "trustworthy".

I am not sure what happens as we "grow up", but this "trust" that we seem to be born with seems to waver. 

Is it a function of new relationships? deeper relationships? or is it our reaction to what we experience and what we learn?  I happen to believe that it is the latter... that as we experience things like:  "NO!", "Loss", and Consequences for our Actions and as we experience the effects of lies, loss and betrayal by those we interact with, we develop the proverbial thicker skin, and in doing so, part of our protective mechanism is less trust in others.  In our interactions with those around us, by choosing to deceive, steal, etc, we cause other people to trust us less.

Trust in ourselves seems (and my thought on personal trust are much more introspective) to me to be more of a function of the response to failure and a combination of the lessons we learn from it.  I feel we start off trusting in ourselves, our own abilities.  It is in the face of "failure" that our trust in ourselves can diminish.  I believe I have learned more from failure than success, but how I deal with this failure, an unavoidable part of life, is, to a great part, was nurtured by those around me.  My parents, my grandmother, my close relatives, my teachers all combined to instil an absolute "trust" in myself.  I believe that I can accomplish anything that I truly want.  It has been tested over the years, and at times, waned... but it is still and will always be in me.  Is failure an end, or is it just an obstacle on the journey to success?

There is a word I have, on purpose, not used till now... It is "FAITH".  For me, the two, trust and faith are seamlessly intertwined.  Again, at my core, in my soul, I Believe and I have Faith.  I feel my faith is a great basis for my trust, both in myself and in others.  I believe in the inherent goodness of people... not that I am naive and believe that all people will not do "bad" things.  But I believe in a person's goodness until proven otherwise.  Once a person has proven "otherwise", I will forgive, but I will not forget, and though experience might cause me to have some faith/trust in this person, I will never trust them again as I once did.

Another core value that must enter into the equation is "RESPECT".  I have been taught, from as young as I can remember to respect my God, my parents, the people around me, all living things and the planet we live in.

I believe that my basic faith/trust/respect in and/or for humanity, God and myself colours the way I view all my interactions with people.

To some degree, we all have to trust each other... if we did not have "trust" that other drivers would stay in their lanes, obey traffic signals, etc, we would not be able to drive...  I have a close circle of family and friends that I trust implicitly, a wider circle of friends and acquaintances that I trust enough to maintain good friendships and relationships, and a lesser degree of trust in people I do not yet know.

There are a very few people, who, because of my experiences (or perhaps because of the words of people I trust) who I am wary of, whom I do not trust.  In order for me to be able to trust those I do, I must know the people I should be wary of trusting.  I consider myself very rich in the currency of relationships...

to have faith/respect/trust in my God, to be living in an area with many people who have similar values to me, to know many people who I trust, and to know a few people who I can count on... no matter what, that I trust completely.

When it comes to the currency of relationships, TRUST, are you rich?


This post is a submission to the ActiveRain / Adobe EchoSign Trust Contest. I could possibly win a prize. You can find out about the contest by clicking here

Chris Smith CSSBB
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Comment balloon 18 commentsChris Smith • January 15 2012 03:57PM

Comments

Excellent point. Trust is the currency of relationships..It is a shame some use counterfeit!

Posted by Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty, Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County (Bucci Realty, Inc.) over 8 years ago

People must trust and like you before they do business with you, it's just the way it is.

All those positive characteristics matter greater to building a trusting relationship on their way to liking you!

good luck Chris...

cheers

Nor

www.envoycapitol.com

Posted by Nor Yeretsian, Envoy Capitol Realty Inc., Brokerage Toronto (Envoy Capitol Realty Inc.) over 8 years ago

Chris, this is a great post with valid points.  I like that you believe that all people are good unless they prove otherwise.  One must also realize that trust can be lost in a heartbeat.

Posted by Sharon Parisi, Dallas Homes (United Real Estate Dallas ) over 8 years ago

Gary, if we could just all trust and work together... what a world this could be

Cheers Nor, and know that you care about them...

Thank You Sharon.  you are so right, trust can be earned, but also lost...

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Chris: This sentence tells it all...." It is "FAITH".  For me, the two, trust and faith are seamlessly intertwined". This is a wonderful read and I hope many will stop by and appreciate this wonderful blog.

C&C





Posted by Carl Winters over 8 years ago

I think trust is a two sded proposition and means different things to different people. Trust but Verify

Posted by Charles Stallions, 800-309-3414 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl. (Charles Stallions Real Estate Services ) over 8 years ago

Thank you C&C, this contest has so many personal entries, this was mine...

Trust means different things to the same person, depending on the specifics, let alone what it means to another person. 

In business,you are right, we must verify, Charles

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Chris we had to suggest this, because you hit on some many valid and unique points. Love your phrase that trust is the currency of relationships. Boy did you say it right! Excellent read Chris!

Posted by Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers, Our Family Wants To Help Your Family! (RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Al and Peggy, there are so many unique posts on this topic, after reading many, including yours, and thinking about trust, and what it means to me, this is what I came up with...

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Chris, This is a very good post and I enjoyed reading it. I believe Faith is a key word. The one thing that hurts is when the trust is broken. Thanks for sharing, great read!

Posted by Keith Gilkey, 410-920-7214, Re/Max Chesapeake (Re/Max Chesapeake) over 8 years ago

Great post with trust, faith and believing at the core. Relationships rely on trust as the basis to continue and each person carries their trust differently due to their life experiences. I can see that you have had some great teachers in your life Chris.Me? I trust until I can't. Good luck to you in the contest!

Posted by Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!, So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR (Red Rock Real Estate) over 8 years ago

You really put a lot of thought and yourself into this post.  And, I agree that trust, faith and respect are all intertwined really.

Posted by Ron Marshall, Birdhouse Builder Extraordinaire (Marshall Enterprises) over 8 years ago

We are born trusting and it's nice when that can follow us into adulthood.  I pride myself on being trustworthy, like yourself, and I tend to trust a people unless they prove me wrong.  Rebuilding trust is a whole other matter!

Posted by David Artigliere, ARTI Home Inspections, ASHI Certified Home Inspect (Reading, Pottstown, Norristown, Philadelphia) over 8 years ago

Thank you Keith, I am learning a lot about the people who are leaving comments by what impacts them.  Is Faith an important part of your life?

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Thank You Wanda, one's experience has a great effect on your outlook in the matter of trust

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Thank you Ron.

David, we seem to think alike, rebuilding trust is a whole different issue...

Posted by Chris Smith, South Simcoe, Caledon, King, Orangeville Real Esta (Re/Max Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage) over 8 years ago

Hi Chris,

 very well put, trust is faith, seems to say it all, together with drive, perseverance and a commitment to do the  right thing....

Posted by Peter Pfann @ eXp Realty Pfanntastic Properties in Victoria, Since 1986., Talk To or Text Peter 250-213-9490 (eXp Realty, Victoria BC www.pfanntastic.com) over 8 years ago

Hi Chris,

There is a lot to ponder here.  We tend to enter relationships with a fairly high level of trust.  But it is hard when that trust is broken.  I think that people become "untrustworthy" as they feel a sense of unfairness or wanting more than others and then take steps to lie or cheat to get ahead of others.

Lisa

Posted by The Scott Loper Team Bux-Mont Premier Properties (Keller Williams Real Estate - Montgomeryville) over 8 years ago

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