Trust is the currency of relationships, and there are two sides to every coin.
We are born into this world totally dependent and trusting in our parents / caregivers completely. We just KNOW that they will take care of us, and that they want the best for us. By the same token, I feel we are each born totally "trustworthy".
I am not sure what happens as we "grow up", but this "trust" that we seem to be born with seems to waver.
Is it a function of new relationships? deeper relationships? or is it our reaction to what we experience and what we learn? I happen to believe that it is the latter... that as we experience things like: "NO!", "Loss", and Consequences for our Actions and as we experience the effects of lies, loss and betrayal by those we interact with, we develop the proverbial thicker skin, and in doing so, part of our protective mechanism is less trust in others. In our interactions with those around us, by choosing to deceive, steal, etc, we cause other people to trust us less.
Trust in ourselves seems (and my thought on personal trust are much more introspective) to me to be more of a function of the response to failure and a combination of the lessons we learn from it. I feel we start off trusting in ourselves, our own abilities. It is in the face of "failure" that our trust in ourselves can diminish. I believe I have learned more from failure than success, but how I deal with this failure, an unavoidable part of life, is, to a great part, was nurtured by those around me. My parents, my grandmother, my close relatives, my teachers all combined to instil an absolute "trust" in myself. I believe that I can accomplish anything that I truly want. It has been tested over the years, and at times, waned... but it is still and will always be in me. Is failure an end, or is it just an obstacle on the journey to success?
There is a word I have, on purpose, not used till now... It is "FAITH". For me, the two, trust and faith are seamlessly intertwined. Again, at my core, in my soul, I Believe and I have Faith. I feel my faith is a great basis for my trust, both in myself and in others. I believe in the inherent goodness of people... not that I am naive and believe that all people will not do "bad" things. But I believe in a person's goodness until proven otherwise. Once a person has proven "otherwise", I will forgive, but I will not forget, and though experience might cause me to have some faith/trust in this person, I will never trust them again as I once did.
Another core value that must enter into the equation is "RESPECT". I have been taught, from as young as I can remember to respect my God, my parents, the people around me, all living things and the planet we live in.
I believe that my basic faith/trust/respect in and/or for humanity, God and myself colours the way I view all my interactions with people.
To some degree, we all have to trust each other... if we did not have "trust" that other drivers would stay in their lanes, obey traffic signals, etc, we would not be able to drive... I have a close circle of family and friends that I trust implicitly, a wider circle of friends and acquaintances that I trust enough to maintain good friendships and relationships, and a lesser degree of trust in people I do not yet know.
There are a very few people, who, because of my experiences (or perhaps because of the words of people I trust) who I am wary of, whom I do not trust. In order for me to be able to trust those I do, I must know the people I should be wary of trusting. I consider myself very rich in the currency of relationships...
to have faith/respect/trust in my God, to be living in an area with many people who have similar values to me, to know many people who I trust, and to know a few people who I can count on... no matter what, that I trust completely.
When it comes to the currency of relationships, TRUST, are you rich?
This post is a submission to the ActiveRain / Adobe EchoSign Trust Contest. I could possibly win a prize. You can find out about the contest by clicking here
Chris Smith CSSBB
Chay Realty Inc., Brokerage